I was surprised when at 33, my life started to send me wake-up calls about my emotional health. Anxiety, high blood pressure, and eventually, panic attacks had become my norm. I had been in therapy for most of my adult life, but when my health hit rock bottom, I went back to therapy to help figure out what was going on with me.
The Beginning: Just Needing to Talk
I first started seeing a therapist when I was 22 and had just moved to San Diego. At the time, I didn’t even know what was wrong; I just knew I needed to talk to someone. I felt unhappy and depressed, and therapy gave me a safe space to try to explore my thoughts. When I think back to then, I remember being so shameful, thinking I was the only person in the world who was suffering like I was.
While I can’t remember much of what we talked about, opening up to a therapist was helping me learn to be honest about my feelings and emotions. I wasn’t necessarily looking for feedback; I just needed to be heard. That simple act of talking to someone who was trained to listen without judgment was incredibly beneficial in and of itself. I remember feeling a lot of shame about who I was, and therapy helped me start to unravel those feelings.
Digging Deeper: Understanding the Roots of Anxiety
Fast forward a decade, and I found myself in a different phase of therapy. This time, it wasn’t just about talking—it was about digging deep and understanding the roots of my anxiety and figuring out why I was so stressed. I had always felt like something wasn’t right about my childhood, but I was afraid to pull back the curtain and explore the truth. Therapy helped me divulge my feelings and start to make sense of them.
I began to uncover the unresolved childhood trauma that had been causing my body to stay in a constant state of hypervigilance. My therapist helped me connect the dots between my past experiences and my present struggles. This phase of therapy was about more than just feeling better; it was about understanding why I felt the way I did and learning how to heal so I could stop feeling so anxious and depressed.
Crisis Mode: Therapy as a Lifeline During Panic Attacks
Then came the real crisis. My panic attacks became so severe that I couldn’t drive. I ended up in the hospital two times, convinced I was having a heart attack. I was constantly on edge, unable to set boundaries at work or in personal relationships. This was when therapy shifted from being supportive to being instrumental in getting me through the days.
I started seeing a therapist multiple times a week. I had to face the reality of my childhood scars and start the hard work of healing. One particularly intense moment came during a couples therapy session with my partner, David. I broke down crying because I realized I had always been punished for having needs and was afraid to admit what I needed from him. That breakthrough was painful but necessary. It taught me that my needs were valid and that I had the right to advocate for myself.
Coming Out the Other Side: The Benefits of Therapy for Anxiety
Therapy has taught me resilience and the importance of emotional health. It has shown me that healing isn’t just about surviving crises; it’s about building a life where I can thrive. Today, my life is abundant in ways I never thought possible. I’ve been with David for twelve years, and we’re on our surrogacy journey—a journey I once thought was out of reach for someone as “broken” as I felt.
My journey with therapy isn’t over. I’m constantly learning and growing, and I’m grateful for the tools therapy has given me. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or burnout, I encourage you to consider therapy. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a step towards strength and self-awareness.
Why Therapy Matters for Emotional Health and Personal Fulfillment
Therapy has been a crucial part of my healing journey. It has helped me understand and manage my anxiety, uncover the roots of my stress, and build a life of abundance and fulfillment. The long-term effects of therapy have been profoundly positive, allowing me to live a more aligned and fulfilled life.
Understanding the long-term effects of therapy, including emotional stability, self-awareness, and improved relationships, can significantly enhance one’s quality of life. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, know that therapy can be a powerful tool for change and can greatly contribute to emotional health and personal fulfillment.
Thanks for joining me on this journey. Remember, your emotional health matters. Take the step to look after it, and let’s continue to rise to our worth together.
