In today’s world, there’s no shortage of knowledge, and your guide to a better future can be found through reading, listening to podcasts or Audible, or even Masterclass. If you ever feel stuck, lean towards something that intrigues you and learn about it, and a path to a better life may just appear.
About three years ago, I decided to write a book. I’d never attempted anything creative, but I thought writing could be learned, so I hired a writing coach—a writer herself, a PH.D., and a professor—and learned how to write.
I had no interest in reading when I was a kid, although I had a bookshelf full of Boxcar Children and Goosebump books. In my senior year of high school, I tested into A.P. English, where it was mandatory to read Jane Eyre and a bunch of other works of literature, but I managed to get through with CliffsNotes; still, certain reading would never interest me.
In college, I was assigned a book called Always Running. It was about the LA gangs during the 1970s and took place at my parents’ high school, and it was the first book I found riveting. My grandma gave me The Kite Runner and then A Thousand Splendid Suns, which I was also enamored with, but life was busy, and reading was low on the priority list, so after that, it remained on the back burner for about 15 years.
I was living in New York when I picked up reading again and found my first self-improvement book, The Startup of You. In it, the co-founder of LinkedIn offered career advice on how to take control of your future in a competitive economy, which taught me to stop passively waiting for opportunities to come my way.
Next, I read Lean In and was baffled by how much it spoke to me. I lack a bulldozing and egotistical personality like so many people in power have, but Sheryl Sandberg showed me a path toward leadership by leveraging the traits and skills I have.
I read a dozen career-focused self-improvement books after Lean In until a friend said, “I think you’d really like Brené Brown,” and gave me The Gifts of Imperfection. I couldn’t put it down and read through all her books, and thus, my life transformation began. It was 2017, and I was in the midst of my health crisis. Brené helped me see that my struggle was being exacerbated by shame and that by being vulnerable about how I was feeling and open to uncovering what was beneath it, I’d eventually find relief.
Since then, I’ve felt almost exclusively pulled toward memoir, fascinated by people’s vulnerable journeys from devastation through realization to places of power and peace. Chanel Miller, Dani Shapiro, and Glennon Doyle have all written about the sense they extrapolated from their stories while inspiring me to do the same.
Two years into writing my book, I decided I’d create a business to teach others how to transform their lives the way I have. This is my second business, but building a personal brand has required me to learn a whole new set of skills which a couple of weeks ago led me to a book called The E-Myth Revisited, and I haven’t been able to put it down.
The book explains why most small businesses fail and what to do about it, and I’ve been surprised that there’s not much I’m reading that I don’t already somewhat know.
I’ve been working in entrepreneurship for 15 years, and The E-Myth Revisited shines a light on the most common mistake I’ve seen: businesses fail because entrepreneurs struggle with being honest with themselves about what they don’t know and can’t learn what they think they don’t need to.
This goes beyond business—most of us are our own worst enemy in one way or another. We either consciously or unconsciously refuse to see the facts, preventing us from admitting what’s obvious to others. The E-Myth Revisited has reminded me that the number one contributor to success in life (personal, professional, financial, relational…) is one’s willingness to admit the truth, ask for help, and be as pleasant as possible while we learn what we need to know.
The reality is that almost anything is learnable, and knowledge is available all around us for free. And also, the reality is that most people reject it and say they’re too busy or downright just turn the other way because for whatever reason, they’re not willing or able to admit what they don’t know and need help learning.
I never want to force anyone to use the exact tools I do; you don’t have to read if it’s not your thing, for example. But there are podcasts, audiobooks, YouTube videos, and movies, and we’re around people all day who know things we don’t. The options for learning are literally endless.
You just need to be willing to learn, and the topic needs to mean something to you.
Looking back to when I was younger, I had no interest in Boxcar Children, Goosebumps, or Jane Eyre, and I still don’t. I almost never read fiction, and when I do, I carefully choose what excites me. I also rarely watch TV, and last week, David was gone for a few days, so I decided to try a couple of movies but ended up turning them off after realizing they didn’t appeal to me. There are shows and movies that I love, but I’ve learned that the faster I move on from something that doesn’t fill me, the sooner I can move on to something that does, and the desired knowledge can be gained.
I invite you to consider what you want to learn, and I promise there’s a medium out there that will work for you, maybe even more than you expect. I love my podcasts and audiobooks, and listening to them while at the gym has completely changed how I feel about working out. Exercise now allows me to learn, so it’s like killing two birds with one stone.
The thing I cannot change for you is your willingness to admit what you don’t know. Maybe you’re thriving perfectly in life, and if so, I’m so happy for you. But if there are things that you want to change, there are answers out there, but the willingness needs to come from within. If you have loved ones around, I find it easier to value personal growth when the burden of avoiding it falls onto those who we care about.
I love working with coaches, but at the same time, I sometimes get as much value or more from reading or working independently. Actually, last week with David out of town and with more time of solitude on my hands, I put everything together that I’d been learning (coaching, reading, journaling, meditating, conversations, etc.), and a massive breakthrough was rendered—I saw how I would need to market my vision and landed on exactly what it is I want to offer the world (stay tuned!).
Learning is a process, and it’s incredibly flexible. It begins with you being willing to learn what you don’t know (and want to). After that, your options are endless.
Reach out with any comments or questions.
